Text: Matthew 5:21-37
The ongoing gender wars pit women against men and men against women in a competition for jobs, money and so-called success. What are our responsibilities to one another as male and female? Do the dark forces have it right when they say might makes right? Or are there gentler, subtler ways for men and women to be together in God's good world? In an overly sexualized, competitive world, it is time we reclaim the relationship between the genders suggested by both Jesus and the Apostle Paul.
In the more agrarian culture of just a few short generations ago women were certainly employed as were men. They worked the land together. The husband milked the cows and plowed the earth and hunted in the forest for protein. The women plucked the chickens and fed the family and the farm hands and milked the cows and tended the garden. Children were expected to join in on the chores around the house and the farm. The work was done together as husband and wife and children. Life on the family farm supported the family both economically and emotionally.
Then came WWII and women went to work and men went off to kill and die in foreign lands. International bankers made a killing off the war and the IRS realized it had been missing the boat. Half of the human population was not being taxed and I am referring here to the better half, the women. So women stayed in the workforce after the war and the government was happy with twice the taxable subjects now. Women got to vote and even had the privilege of serving in the military so they could now be sent off to kill and die in foreign lands in the name of the US government.
Whereas the line between male and female duties and responsibilities were clearly drawn a couple of generations ago today we are in a state of flux. The gender wars are played out in unhappy marriage relationships, workplace lawsuits, and everywhere else in society where women and men interact.
The Pauline epistles suggest a better image of how men and women may relate. Rather than being in competition we have the option of returning to the biblical metaphor of treating one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. Imagine how that would change the social landscape if women became to men not sexual objects or work place competition or competitors in the field of government hand outs. Imagine how the cultural dialogue would be stabilized and improved if men looked upon and treated women as sisters in Christ and if women treated men as brothers in Christ. Imagine if men and women were one in unity as brothers and sisters in Christ. This is the Biblical image for the relationship between the genders.
This kind of honest, supportive equality is what Jesus had in mind in his sermon on the mount as described in our text today from Matthew's gospel. Here Jesus offers a parable of how we are to relate to one another and suggests we figure out how to apply it in our own lives and societies. To paraphrase and embellish our text today, the parable Jesus tells places us in the pew on a Sunday morning when communion is going to be served. Suddenly, in the middle of the sermon, we remember someone who has something against us. Perhaps we said an unkind word that ruined their day. Perhaps we intentionally harmed them in our attempt to climb the corporate ladder. What we have done is not as important as what we will do now. Jesus suggests we get up out of our pew and leave the sanctuary. Go crank our car and drive to that person's residence. Get out of the car and knock on the door. Ask to come inside and sit down and apologize. Make things right in that relationship then get back in our car and drive back to the church and get back in our pew just in time for the Lord's Supper.
Of course, such an interdiction is physically impossible. There is no practical way you could do what Jesus says: "Leave your gift at altar and be reconciled to your brother or sister who has something against you." There is no way you could leave here and drive to your offended party's humble abode, get out, get in, get it straight and get back before the sermon is done. The impossible nature of Jesus' request – get up immediately and straighten out the problem in the next ten minutes – shows us that this is a parable. We are not to literally leave church and go apologize and hurry back to the church before communion is served. Instead, we are to consider how our relationship with our brothers and sisters effect our relationship with God and do what we can to make our relationships with others right and see how that will improve our relationship with God. We have to work out how to do this in our own lives.
I read a story this week about how one man and his daughter did just that. Raymond Moody tells many remarkable stories about shared death experiences in his book Glimpses of Eternity: Sharing a Loved One's Passage from this Life to the Next. Dr. Moody wrote his first book about near death experiences. His latest book is about shared death experiences. He tells stories of a living person who shares a death experience with a dying person. Maybe the still living person has walked halfway up the tunnel of light to heaven with a dying person. Perhaps when their spirit departed their body the still living person witnessed the dying person's end of life review with them or saw their spirit rise from their body like a wift of steam or smoke from a candle when it is snuffed out. The many stories he shares in the book tell remarkably similar stories of what happens when a human dies. The people share similar experiences at their death whether they are Christians or atheists and regardless of color, creed, or cultural background. None of the stories mention anyone going to hell. The stories in the book leave the reader with less fear and anxiety about the subject of death or at least that was my personal experience upon reading the book.
The last story in the book on pages 180-183 is a shared death experience that is also a story of redemption that goes well with our sermon text today. It was a told by a woman whom the author calls June. June says although her dad was never mean to her he was so abusive to other people in town that they thought he was insane. No one could come visit June's house because her dad would insult them and kick them out of the house. He was like an ill treated pit bull who was nice to his family but attacked any outsider who came into the house. He carried his bullying ways out into the town where they lived and embarrassed his family and harassed the townsfolk.
June's mother was never able to keep a friend because of her husband's ill temper. June attributes her mother's premature death, when June was ten, to her father's hatred of humanity. When June was 38 her father was diagnosed with cancer and given a short time to live. She says in an odd way this was a blessing because it revealed to her without a doubt that there is life after death. June watched her father transform right before her very eyes into a gentle and caring man.
June says, "It started two months before he died. I was sitting on the porch and he came out with deep concern on his face. 'June,' he said, 'there is no way I can make it up to all those people I hurt over the year but Brit (June's mother) came to me last night and said she was coming to take me away and make amends before I leave."
He had never believed in ghosts but the way he changed left no doubt in her mind that some kind of transformation had taken place in his life. June and her father sat out on the porch until 2 am talking about the vision he had had and what he could do to make amends for his life. The two decided he should go door with his daughter and apologize to everyone he had offended. Over the next three weeks they went door to door on this solemn mission. Some of the people would look at them with disbelief as June's father explained he was sorry for what he had done to them and wanted to ask their forgiveness before he died. Some of the people said, "Fine" and shut the door and others asked them inside for long conversations. After three weeks June's father had met his goal and was tired and ready to die.
It was then that June shared an experience that changed her life. On the day her father died he was peaceful and calm. He asked for water but other than that they sat completely transfixed by a beautiful music that just seemed to be coming out of the air. It was like no music they had ever heard before.
June's father lay down on the coach and seemed almost to shut off. Then, to her surprise, it seemed as if a spirit body of him sat up. It was beaming with joy. He said, "good-bye," and right in front of him stood her mother and aunt. No words can describe the appearance of three of them as spirits. Her mother's spirit body was looking at her with great joy. And then that was it. The spirit bodies faded away and she was alone with her father's body.
As you can imagine, June has never been the same. There was a connection between her, her mother, her aunt, her father, and God all at once. From that day onward she said she feels as if she's walking on air.
Here is a true story that is an example of how two people lived out the idea of making amends with those we have offended. Here is a true story of what happened at the death of one man and how it was shared by his daughter and her mother and aunt.
Scientist Rupert Sheldrake refers to the Habits of Nature as opposed to the Laws of Nature. He claims the sun rises each morning because that is the sun's habit. It is not an immutable law. I think Jesus would like that kind of subtle shift from "laws" to "habits" in regard to his ethical teachings in the sermon on the mount. For Jesus' teaching there transcends the law and is meant to be applied in our everyday lives in a way that becomes a habit.
When we get beyond the over the top rhetoric we find what Jesus teaching is how to transcend the law and make the way of love a habit in our lives. We transcend the law when we live the law of love which the Apostle Paul describes so well in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 where he says, "Love is patient, love is kind, love is not boastful or arrogant or rude. Love does not demand its own way." That so-called "Love Chapter" in 1 Corinthians 13 is often used as the scripture reading at weddings but it was not originally intended for marriage partners. It was intended for widespread use throughout God's economy.
Jesus speaks to us today about how to conduct ourselves in God's market economy. In God's economy, men treat women as sisters in Christ. That means men treat women with respect, support and love as defined in 1 Corinthians 13. On the other hand, women treat men as brothers in Christ. That means women treat men with respect, support and love as defined in 1 Corinthians 13. For in God's economy, the trend is toward greater love and more compassionate justice between the genders. So the discussion moves from gender wars to discovering how to support one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. That's the kind of discussion that happens around the family dinner table in God's house. Loving kindness is the life habit we must form. For such love is the first and only house rule for life in God's economy.
