Love Bears the Unbearable

Dr. Jon Burnham preached this sermon from 1 Corinthians 13
at Batesville Presbyterian Church on February 18, 2007

            Last week I was surprised to see Kendrick Sledge being interviewed on CNN. I know Kendrick from my time in seminary in Richmond, Virginia, when she was a child and her father, James Sledge, was my best friend in serminary. Kendrick is now a Sophomore at Boston University and there she was on CNN speaking about her experience in an abusive relationship when she was 14 years old and dating a 19 year old boy. She is educating young women on the dangers of abusive relationships and how to get out of them. Kendrick reminds us when we say "love bears the unbearable" we do not intend to encourage women to remain in abusive relationships with men.
            On the other hand, there is much to be said for Saint Augustine's paraphrase of the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13. Paul writes "love endures all things" and Augustine paraphrases him "love bears the unbearable."   Of course this phrase applies to God's love as demonstrated most clearly in the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. But my contention is that even us human beings, and especially those of us who call ourselves Christians, can and do emulate Christ in this respect. In our feeble ways, we too are learning and practicing that great truth: "Love bears the unbearable."
            Let's consider a few movies and see what they say about how love bears the unbearable.
            First, let's consider Clint Eastwood's movie, Million Dollar Baby. Here Clint Eastwood plays the role of Frankie Dunn who has trained many a fine fighter in his career as a boxing coach. The most important lesson he conveys to all his protégés is the importance of protecting yourself in the ring. On the personal side, Frankie suffers from a broken relationship with his daughter. Then a young lady by the name of Maggie Fitzgerald walks into his gym and wants him to take her on and teach her to box. Maggie comes from the wrong side of the tracks and has it in her mind that boxing will be her ticket out of the cycle of poverty in which she and her dysfunctional family dwell. Frankie finally agrees to take her on and teaches her the importance of protecting herself in the ring. Maggie follows Frankie's direction and gets on a winning streak that eventually takes her across Europe until one night when she meets a dirty fighter and forgets that most important lesson of all. She forgets to protect herself in the ring. The championship fight ends with Maggie being paralyzed from the neck down. As she gets progressively worse in the hospital, having one leg amputated and then another, she begs Frankie to restore her dignity by helping her to die. Frankie finally grants her wish and helps Maggie die in what he and she considers to be an act of unselfish love. Regardless of our stance on the issue of euthanasia, we have all had some experience with these questions as we struggle with ethical questions in regards to our loved ones. Having a living will is one thing but honoring it on behalf of our parents or spouse teaches us the lesson that love bears the unbearable. Our family relationships teach us that love bears the unbearable.  
            This is a lesson we learn also in our experiences in the church family to which we belong. Living and loving in the context of a church family is a theme explored by a movie called Babette's Feast. Babette is a famous chef in Napoleon's Paris when she has to flee the country due to being caught on the wrong side of a political debate. She flees to Denmark where she takes up residence with a couple of older widow women. These women run a small church of about 20 members that has been continually declining since their father, who had been pastor of the church, died. Babette gets involved with the little church and finds it to be full of bickering, dissension and unrest. One day Babette gets notice she has won the lottery back in France. Shortly thereafter she receives a check worth millions of dollars. She uses the money to throw an elaborate feast and cook up the finest food available on the planet. The conflicted congregation slowly melts into the moment and over the course of Babette's exquisite seven course meal a healing takes place between the members of the congregation. After the feast, the congregation assumes she will be leaving them since she is now rich. Babette says, "What? Leaving? Rich? I don't have any money. I blew it all on that feast! I threw it away for a feast for you all. I'm not going anywhere." Babette is a Christ figure in this movie because, like Christ, Babette does not protect herself in the ring of life. Babette exposes her full heart to a small, dysfunctional, church family. And she gives away a fortune to them expecting nothing in return and even after that she remains with them in solidarity, in love. Here is an image of God's love which is the kind of love that bears the unbearable, brooks even unlovely, unlikable, uninteresting people. The kind of love Babette displays is the kind of extravagant love Jesus practiced. It is a love that goes beyond expectations -- beyond the call of duty -- it is an all encompassing love.
            As a seminary student I visited the Yad Vashem, the Holocaust Memorial Museum, in Jerusalem, and I was stunned by one exhibit in particular. It was a large room with a tall ceiling and a glass wall. Behind the glass wall were tiny, wrinkled leather, children's shoes. A whole big room full of antiquated children's shoes. They were the shoes of children killed in Nazi concentration camps such as Ravensbruck. It was in Ravensbruck, that place so tainted by evil, that someone found a poem by an anonymous author.  A brief poem that describes how this voluntary self-empting -- agape, caritas -- can transform even the greatest human evil into something of beauty. Here is the poem:

O Lord,
remember not only the men and women of good will
but also those of ill will.

But do not remember all the suffering they inflicted on us
remember the fruits we have bought thanks to this suffering
our comradeship, our loyalty, our humility, our
courage, our generosity,
the greatness of heart which has grown
out of all this.

And when they come to judgment
let all this fruit which we have born
be their forgiveness.

             What a testament to the human spirit. What a testament to a love that bears all things. Here we see that by continuing to pour oneself out in self-giving love even the darkest evil can be transformed into an act of incredible love.
            I close with the words that were found on a piece of paper in the pocket of a Confederate soldier over a hundred years ago, and though they have been commandeered by politicians and sentimentalists in recent years, I believe that they contain great wisdom:

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve;
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do grater things;
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy;
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.

I asked for power, that I might have praise;
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life;
I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for –
But everything that I had hoped for."

             What an amazing thing: the things we do not know. One thing we do know. Love bears the unbearable. And with God's help, so shall we. So shall we.